Vision Quest in london

lavanya and i went on a Vision Quest.

it could have been called 'a walk in the park', but lavanya called it a Vision Quest.  we both had questions to ask.  my question was: what should i do with my life? (why am i alive? what activity can i pursue that is best for me and the people and the planet?)  lavanya shook her rattle to mark the beginning.  before leaving her back garden, lavanya suggested with her eyes that i might want to take along the ukulele.  we weren't to talk; the purpose of the Quest was to listen, to be attentive, to perceive.   the activity was consonant with the message of the book that i am currently reading: The Spell of the Sensuous, by David Abram.  the book asserts that, fair enough, humans have developed the capacity to distance themselves from The World through abstract thinking, but let us not totally forget that it is also a good experience - a healthy one, a grounded one and in reality the only Real one - to be in direct sensory connection with the world.  language was born - Abram asserts - through humans mimicking the sounds of their surrounding environment.  the spoken word vibrates and goes out to join the other murmurings of Nature - the wind in the leaves and the rush of the brook.   along with the development of writing, humans developed the habit of encapsulating ideas (about our sensory experience of the world) with symbols.  the ideas, like the symbols, were an abstraction of the real sensory experience of being in the world in the present moment.   according to Abram, Language - messages - meanings - communication - is something more than abstract ideas in a human head.  it is a whole body thing; we are embodied beings and can only fully be ourselves by being sensorily aware of our placement in the world: the surrounding smells and sights and gleaming eyes and the calls of birds and the rustling bustling tactility of our environment.  these are all Essential Messages to our embodied selves, which run the risk of sliding by unnoticed if we allow our attention to be wholly caught up by items of technology. 

with this body of ideas in mind, i held on to a stick.  lavanya was holding the other end.  she was my guide; i had full faith that she was leading my along exactly the path i should be on.  i walked slowly.  the sunlight filtered through my closed eyelids, alternating with the cool shade of the trees.  the birds were so alive, filling the air with their lively cries.  my barefeet fell with curiosity.  mostly i stepped on smooth dried mud, but sometimes i squelched on cool moist mud.  i felt the enormous security of being on the Earth.  it was an enchanting journey of light and shade, soft muddy footfalls full of faith through a wood i saw not.  total exploration.

like all journeys, it was a succession of moments.  i embraced the sensory experience of walking through those light and shade woods with particular enthusiasm, because lately my appreciation of the present moment has been replaced by preoccupations about the future.  

later on, it is natural that we take separate paths.  i leave lavanya lying on the grassy hill pointing up to the pure blue sky, whispering, "that is my mind" 

Inner Peace was what she was searching for.

i must go to the Big Tree where each massive sprawling branch is like a fully grown tree itself. i pluck up the courage to reach for the high branch, pulling myself up into that elevated world of gnarly trunks, rough and easy for my barefeet to grip after days of dry weather.  it is a very inviting climb; several sections cause me to think twice and evaluate possible alternative routes, before plucking up courage and moving confidently on, cautiously, very alert to perceiving the feel of the tree.  then the feeling of being on the topmost branch, the green grass now far below, watching the sun sinking in the west and, ten miles to the north-west, the cluster of tall buildings that constitute central london.
as i am climbing down i carefully observe two young green birds that look like they might be parrots.  the one that looks like the male arches over the one that looks like the female.  imposing.  he is contemplating her.  she nimbly steps along the branch away from him.  he moves close again and pecks her gently and moves away.  she moves close to him and their bodies fold and they are gently pecking each other.   they are oblivious to my watching them for maybe ten minutes.  then, suddenly, the male falls off the branch and swoops off to a distant tree.  she is left with her green feathers watching me carefully picking my way down the lower branches and falling onto the ground.

previously lavanya suggested that i nominate some thing - guide - guru - God - animal spirit - body organ to listen to and let guide me.  (besides lavanya) i knew this to be my very own heart.  i always want to listen to my heart and take my cues from there, even though at times i lack the confidence to do that. 

later, as evening creeps over the land, we pause to admire the young-uns in the skatepark.  they skate with confidence and elegance, and one of them performs a 360 jump. 

after a while, "where are your shoes?" asks one, who looks like he has recently become a teenager.

"i have left them at home," i say.

"do you have shoes?"

"yes, but i prefer to feel the earth beneath my feet"

a pause, and then,

"are you a hippy?"

"what is a hippy?" - a question i always ask.

"someone who dresses like an idiot, and walks about the woods playing the ukulele - like you, by the looks of it." he retorted.

"well, he is quite right about the woods and the ukulele," i was thinking.

"i am just a person," i say, wanting to avoid any categorisations and separations between peoples.

then, next day i am running into central london and i ask the time of two young gentlemen both walking dogs and both holding cans of beer.  i ask them the time and they wonder about me and where i am going and why the barefeet.  "are you a tree-hugger?" asks the young man from dublin.

well, as it happens, i am rather fond of trees.

for the painting, my mother said she liked the image of a path winding through sunlit woods.

it was very easy for me to naturally feel inspired by that image.

first i tried to mix acrylic and oil paints before finding out that acrylic paint cracks when applied on top of oil.  in the end, i scraped off all the cracked paint and stuck to just oil.